Take a Hike

I recently got ticked off for saying someone liked to go for hikes. It was an innocent comment, in admiration of an active couple, who in their 60s are still into hiking and trekking, activities which they have enjoyed since their youth.

But my usage of the word 'hiking' elicited a snort-smirk combo of such gargantuan proportions, that the original intent of the comment was totally hijacked.

Apparently hike is a pretentious way of saying "walking through the woods".

The dictionary defines hike as "a long walk in the country". So presumably it is an acceptable word to define that activity. Much as swim is an acceptable word to describe an activity which is to "move the body through water by using arms, legs etc." and walk is an acceptable word to describe the activity which is to "move by putting forward each foot in turn".

But apparently somewhere through evolution hike has earned some sort of snob appeal. Of course, where there is snob appeal, there must be the anti-snobbery brigade - ridding the world of the scourge of vainglory by eliminating the use of reprehensible words such as hike and trek. A fatwa has to be issued against both people who enjoy this immodest activity and those who defile the sanctity of unaffected conversation by uttering words such as hike and trek. (As with any religious edict, intent, context or an understanding of the character of the offender are no mitigation.)


We live in a world where the hip quotient is revered as much as anything else in defining our choice of clothes, vocation, holiday destination, leisure activities - pretty much in every sphere of our life. And fads and fashions, as with physics, follow the newtonian law that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. So you also have the proliferation of the anti-hip.

The proponents of both views are in essence similar - they think they are uber-cool for either embracing a trend or totally holding themselves above such trends. In expressing his disgust at the usage of the word hike, presumably due to the implied hip quotient of the activity and thereby the perceived pretentiousness of people who engage in these activities - my friend proved himself to be as totally consumed by the very affectation that he sought to decry as indeed the self-proclaimed hiking aficionados. To me - it seemed like they were 2 sides of the same coin.

So here's the deal. 'To hike' is a perfectly acceptable verb to describe the activity of walking through wilderness. Yes, there may be people who emphasise the accoutrements of the activity and thereby appear pretentious. But there are people who genuinely enjoy the activity. The existence of the former should not necessarily tarnish the character of the latter. Much as deifying trends is annoying over zealous vilifying is equally annoying.

Perhaps, the next time someone snorts at an innocent statement, I will just ask them to take a hike.

The Unimpressed

"Hey, your school has been mentioned in the newspaper," I shouted to my son. I showed him the paragraph where the principal mentioned that XYZ school uses motivational speeches and Homework Clubs to help children deal with exam stress.

My 10-yr old literally dived into the paper to read the article but when he emerged from the papers he wore a patently unimpressed expression.

"Well," he said shrugging his shoulders, " motivational speeches just means random babbling by the Principal on assorted topics. Homework Clubs? They are no fun .... they are menial!"

Thank you very much, young man, for sharing your views.

Credit Card

Bombarded with yet another long list of items that she wished to buy, I decided it was time to teach my 7 yr old daughter some basic lessons on personal finance. I was trying to explain to her that there is only finite supply of money we have access to, which means we need to save and therefore delay gratification. Made for an extremely interesting conversation:

Mom : If you had $5on Monday and you spent the $5 on Monday on menthos, markers, keychains, stickers and everything that you wanted, how many dollars do you have left?

D: Zero dollars.

Mom : What if you need to buy an exercise book on Tuesday? You have no money left.

D: You can give me the money.

Mom : But I can only give you $5 every week - and I have already given that to you. So I have no more money left.

D: Appa can give me. I saw he had many $5 notes in his wallet.

Mom : O! But all Appa's $5 will be gone when he buys petrol on Monday. Then he will have no $5 to give you.

D: (silence)

Mom : You will have no exercise book then. So do you think it was correct to spend $5 on Monday on things that you did not need?

D: But I like menthos and keychains.

Mom: But you will have no exercise book and teacher won't like that. But if you only spent $1 on Monday, how much you have left?

D: Four dollars

Mom: Yes - then you can buy your exercise book on tuesday, right?

D: It's ok Amma - if I have no dollars, the Bank can give me the money!!!!!

The concept of having to have money in bank first before you can withdraw from the bank was bewildering to her.

We headed to the supermarket after this conversation, to buy things for her birthday.

We piled our cart with things for loot bags, pizza, and her birthday gift. As we approached the cashier, she asked me "Amma, how much money do you have?" "$40, I think." She was silent, but her eyes ran over all the things in the cart, and she looked a little worried. As the cashier rang in the purchases, her eyes were peeled on the little rectangle that rose above the register to indicate the total cost. She got shifty once the numbers raced past $40 and let out a soft "Whoa" when the green numbers finally said "$140.40."

I could almost hear the silent prayer she uttered while I rummaged through my wallet in search of my credit card. Her eyes lit up when she saw that magical piece of plastic that could instantly wipe away the deficit of currency notes. There was a spring in her step as she helped me carry the purchases to the car.

On the way back, as is her habit, she recounted everything we did at the supermarket. She rounded up her re-cap with, "And Amma ,the cashier was so kind, because she let you use your credit card." I could already hear soft admiration in her voice as she uttered the words credit card.

I tried explaining to her that I still need to pay for the purchases. I explained that at the end of the month I instructed my Bank to pay the credit card company all the money spent over the month.

Her eyes widened, "See Amma, I told you - if you don't have the money - its ok - Just Ask The Bank to Pay!" (I am sure she added a 'Stupid' - at the end of the sentence in her head.) Exasperated at the circularity of the conversation, I tried again to clarify. "But I have to save money and put some money in the Bank, before I can ask the Bank to pay for my credit card. If I spend all my money, and have no money in the Bank - I will not be able to pay my credit card bill, sweetie!"

"It's simple," she exclaimed triumphantly. "Just put your credit card into the bank. When there is no money .... ta da Credit Card."

End of Lesson One.

In memorium

Dev has become an avid newspaper reader. Recently he came by asking what an effigy meant and then told me that he read the word in an article about the suicides at Foxconn, the Chinese plant of the company manufacturing parts for Apple products.

I thought I would test the conscience meter on this digital-native 10-yr old.

"If you had an i-Phone or an i-Pad and knew, that to produce it people had been put through an almost inhumane working environment - leading them to commit suicide even - how would you feel about using the instrument?"

"Well, I first need to find out if somebody really committed suicide trying to make the parts of my iPhone," he began. "If I do find somebody died making the iPhone for me, then I will use it even more. You know, in memory of that person."

It was said with such sincerity. Not quite with the sneer that would accompany this retort if a hip materialistic wannabe was putting down a pain-in-the-ass tree hugger.

Ah, the innocence of childhood.

Conversations with a 6-yr old - Again

Dev: Seriously, you are lost in the carpark? Why don't you turn the GPS on?

10-yr old Dev is approaching adolscent levels on the 'absolutely annoying' scale. "Seriously" is a word that prefaces every sarcastic utterance - which is to say, anything uttered by Dev.

Div: The GPS will not work in the carpark. Right, Amma?

Mom: Umm Hmm ....

Div: It needs sunlight protection.

Mom: What?

Div: You know the lady will say, when we enter B1, "sunlight protection lost"

Dev: Aaaiyyyoh!! Its SATELLITE RECEPTION. Seriously, Div!!!!

Conversations with a 6-yr old

"You mean Thatha had an accident?" queries Div.

"Yes, in July, remember I told you. He was hit by a scooter." replies Mom.

"Has he died? " Div asks.

"No, sweetheart. You spoke with him last week (December). He fractured a bone in his hip.", Mom replies patiently.

"Oh. Why did the scooter hit him? Was the man on the scooter not looking? Was he looking this side? " bang, bang, bang - last question accompanied by a sideways cock of the lovely 6-year old head.

"Yes, he was not looking carefully," still answering.

"Oh you mean Thatha was here (left palm indicating rough spot) and the scooter was here (right palm about six inches away. NB :drawing not to scale) and the man was looking this side (head turned away from palm representing Thatha)? "

"Umm Hmmm.."

"Oh. Thatha was walking to the car or what?"

"No Thatha does not have a car, he was walking back home."

"Oh. Did he know the way back to his home?" (because it could be a very valid reason why he was involved in a accident, he may have been lost)

"Yes, he did."

"Hey Amma, that is Farveenisha's home!" Thatha dumped. "When can I go to Farveenisha's home to play? "

(Total Minutes elapsed from question 1 to change of topic - 2 minutes)

The Young Ones

I read this in the Straits Times in an article about Philip Jeyaretnam joining the PSC. Talking about interviewing potential scholarship holders, he said ‘When you’re 18, you’re entitled to try out different viewpoints. Part of the fun of being smart and young is actually to argue different sides of the coin.’

It reminded me of my own interview for the SIA Youth Scholarship, nearly 20 years ago, when I was 16. India had just gone through an election where a National Front coalition had won and V.P. Singh became the Prime Minister. Perhaps it was because I had Political Science as one of my subjects in the junior college that I was studying in at that time, the conversation veered towards the election. I said I was very happy that the decades long domination of the Congress Party had been broken and that we needed a fresh perspective. My parents had voted against Congress that year - after many years of being staunch Congress supporters. Clearly, I was channelling some of their views.

But somehow the conversation pursued on this track - I am not sure how, but I ultimately concluded the topic by saying what I would really want for India is a Communist government. I can remember the excitement with which I made the case for a Communist government - at 36 now, I can sadly not remember any of the arguments I made. For maybe I do not believe in any of them now.

Of the panelists - one was a fairly senior Ministry of Education Officer (we later found out). He said with raised eyebrows and a wry smile, "Communist? " "Yes!!" I said fervently.

Later my father questioned me - "what did you talk I about?" "Oh this and that, " I replied. "I said I thought India should become communist." He looked at me incredulously, "Lets pack our bags and leave," he said, "You are not getting this scholarship. Don't you know anything about Singapore? "

I guess the Ministry official subscribed to the essence of Philip Jeyaratnam's statement - I got the scholarship. Can't claim much on the smartness front, but idealistic I was and was able to readily defend my views.

Which is a lot more I can say for myself now. Over the years, most of my views have become resolutely centre of the continuum - regardless of the topic. At times I wonder if it is age (and attendent wisdom which is to see the world not as purely black and white but swathes of grey?) or living in a fairly affluent society where practicality seems to be valued over idealism (even in the enduring democracies like UK and US, the distinction between right and left is increasingly getting blurred).

Or is it simply that the ability to wage a debate is too exhausting intellectually - especially after one has turned simply into a receiver of information, not so much a processor - in this age of information overload. Seriously, between keeping count of Angelina Jolie's children and Tiger Woods' misstresses who has time for ideology.

I know not what it is. The soul searching has to be the topic of another blog. For now, I simply feel a little sad that I am no longer that girl who dreamt of a communist India.