I had a frenzied, but thoroughly invigorating weekend - to the extent that I felt I had accomplished a lot. The only negative point would be the awful movie that I perversely watched through to the end on Sunday night. Trust the Man boasted of a very talented cast : Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal (I really like her, its so sad that she gets overshadowed by that beautiful brother of hers) Billy Crudup (an intense actor that I really liked in some movies that I really can't remember. I think I remember him primarily for making my "short guys that I find attractive" list. Yes, I am a heightist and will not apologise for it - so shoot me!) and finally David Duchovny (whose life imitates art, as David checks into a self help group for sex addiction in this movie before checking into rehab for the same in real life. Hmmm). The movie was engaging in very small slivers, primarily due to the cast. The plot was thin, it lacked the emotive depth of a drama or the sheer comic value of a rom-com to make up for the lack of story line. The ending was utterly, utterly cringeworthy. Makes you think that even the half decent rom-coms require considerable talent to pull off and also really appreciate the genius of those auteurs whose work one finds immensely enjoyable.
The full length windows in our living room are a good reflecting surface at night. My daughter D, was doing her puzzles as I watched the movie. Suddenly she stared at her reflection intently. This went on for a couple of minutes, she was focussed and seemed to be thinking hard, almost willing something to happen. When she caught me looking at her, very earnestly she asked, "Amma, why is that thing not coming?" - while drawing a thought bubble over her head.
Ah, the wonderment of a child. And why do we ever lose it?
Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Midweek Oasis
I had a great night out on Wednesday. Thanks to Caustic Yoda and his friends from New York, as well as some old friends from Singapore. We had dinner at Lau Pa Sat and then had couple of drinks at Emerald Hill and Arab Street. Part of the fun was going back to Emerald Hill after nearly half a decade and discovering a very cozy nook in Arab Street - most of it however was the company.
J and D were New York residents who were on a 3-week, perhaps month long trip of Southeast Asia. I really liked both of them. They were B-school grads, lived and worked in NY - all of which ratcheted up my estimation of how they rated on the intelligent-suave-cool scale. Not that they were not any of the above, but they were both incredibly warm human beings above everything else - unassuming yet intriguing personalities, whose conversations weaved between present and past - their Cambodian experience with street children selling postcards was told with as much good humour being stared at while touring the Singapore National Museum; stories of this trip were peppered with references from past trips and updates about friends from New York. What I found remarkably reassuring was the way they shared their experiences - they did not make headline statements about Singapore or Cambodia or anywhere else, seeking to sound well travelled or worldly wise. They did not dissect, examine and make a thesis of any of their experiences. They were not boastful nor condescending yet ribbed each other good humouredly throughout the evening. I think much had to do with the lilting cadence of J's narration and the gentle smile with which D made most of his observations. It was also good to have 'met' a part of a good friend's life, of which I had only had very fleeting glimpses thus far.
It was nice to have spent a light evening not talking about the economic crisis or the imminent collapse of the banking system. Not arguing if investment bankers had had their comeuppance or whether capitalism was dead. It was my midweek oasis.
J and D were New York residents who were on a 3-week, perhaps month long trip of Southeast Asia. I really liked both of them. They were B-school grads, lived and worked in NY - all of which ratcheted up my estimation of how they rated on the intelligent-suave-cool scale. Not that they were not any of the above, but they were both incredibly warm human beings above everything else - unassuming yet intriguing personalities, whose conversations weaved between present and past - their Cambodian experience with street children selling postcards was told with as much good humour being stared at while touring the Singapore National Museum; stories of this trip were peppered with references from past trips and updates about friends from New York. What I found remarkably reassuring was the way they shared their experiences - they did not make headline statements about Singapore or Cambodia or anywhere else, seeking to sound well travelled or worldly wise. They did not dissect, examine and make a thesis of any of their experiences. They were not boastful nor condescending yet ribbed each other good humouredly throughout the evening. I think much had to do with the lilting cadence of J's narration and the gentle smile with which D made most of his observations. It was also good to have 'met' a part of a good friend's life, of which I had only had very fleeting glimpses thus far.
It was nice to have spent a light evening not talking about the economic crisis or the imminent collapse of the banking system. Not arguing if investment bankers had had their comeuppance or whether capitalism was dead. It was my midweek oasis.
Monday, February 16, 2009
BeLonging
I am on FaceBook. Funny how a social networking site which I only thought had appeal for teeny-boppers has become so popular with the 30-40 somethings who count as my friends, acquaintances, colleagues, past and current.
Recently however there has been a flurry of activities among my friends joining groups or becoming fans of groups. My best friend seems to be on a musical odyssey, leaving a colourful trail of musical genres and groups that I scarcely know of, as he frenetically adds his name to burgeoning fan-lists. Some have joined causes supporting rights of Indian women to celebrate Valentine's Day while others will attend a photo-essay supporting the rights of Nepali women to education. Groups are being formed to bring together old schoolmates from far flung cities together in cyberspace (one enterprising former classmate of mine got together about 18-20 members of our 50 strong Std X class after nearly 18yrs of no contact). Memories are being shared, anecdotes exchanged, embarrassing photographs uploaded and compared with current photos with families in tow.
Is it FaceBook/Internet and the avenue it provides for interaction on multiple planes and a grandiose scale or is it the economic crisis which has rocked our foundations, that is spurring this flight to attain a sense of belonging? Do we need to redefine ourselves not as bankers, consultants, journalists, teachers but as friends, activists, aficionados, intellectuals? Is it helping to turn the clock back a little, taking us to more exciting times where we dreamt of changing the world, stayed up all night discoursing ideas, sought to experience new sensations through music or written word or cinema? Or is it just that the crisis has left us with a lot of time on our hands?
I feel a sense of bewilderment amidst this activity though. I have chosen this time, not reach out wider or explore life from the perch of experience - but to embark on a new career which has me focused on activities at an infinitesimally micro level - learning, practising, thinking, applying -all within the realm of my profession. So, no I am not plunging into the depths of new adventures - neither through travel nor through music; neither through books nor through art. If I imagine it in my head, I walk back slowly retracing the steps of the past 12 years, slowly climbing into my cocoon - a chrysalis yet again. That the burst of colours when I emerge this time will be vibrant and enduring - that is what I will BeLonging (for).
Recently however there has been a flurry of activities among my friends joining groups or becoming fans of groups. My best friend seems to be on a musical odyssey, leaving a colourful trail of musical genres and groups that I scarcely know of, as he frenetically adds his name to burgeoning fan-lists. Some have joined causes supporting rights of Indian women to celebrate Valentine's Day while others will attend a photo-essay supporting the rights of Nepali women to education. Groups are being formed to bring together old schoolmates from far flung cities together in cyberspace (one enterprising former classmate of mine got together about 18-20 members of our 50 strong Std X class after nearly 18yrs of no contact). Memories are being shared, anecdotes exchanged, embarrassing photographs uploaded and compared with current photos with families in tow.
Is it FaceBook/Internet and the avenue it provides for interaction on multiple planes and a grandiose scale or is it the economic crisis which has rocked our foundations, that is spurring this flight to attain a sense of belonging? Do we need to redefine ourselves not as bankers, consultants, journalists, teachers but as friends, activists, aficionados, intellectuals? Is it helping to turn the clock back a little, taking us to more exciting times where we dreamt of changing the world, stayed up all night discoursing ideas, sought to experience new sensations through music or written word or cinema? Or is it just that the crisis has left us with a lot of time on our hands?
I feel a sense of bewilderment amidst this activity though. I have chosen this time, not reach out wider or explore life from the perch of experience - but to embark on a new career which has me focused on activities at an infinitesimally micro level - learning, practising, thinking, applying -all within the realm of my profession. So, no I am not plunging into the depths of new adventures - neither through travel nor through music; neither through books nor through art. If I imagine it in my head, I walk back slowly retracing the steps of the past 12 years, slowly climbing into my cocoon - a chrysalis yet again. That the burst of colours when I emerge this time will be vibrant and enduring - that is what I will BeLonging (for).
Robert Downey Jr and Heath Ledger
I watched a movie called Chances Are, when I was 16. That was the first movie I watched in Singapore - watching a movie without seeking permission from my parents, splurging $5 (times 9 to convert into Indian Rupees then) on this luxury, made this movie a momentous one for me. I think it was February, when love was in the air. Or maybe I am mistaken - but my enduring recollection of the movie is totally losing my heart to Robert Downey Jr. He of the chocolate eyes and somewhat kooky disposition.
Earlier this year, when the Oscars and the Globes and the SAGs waxed eloquent in their tributes to Heath Ledger - I could not help bristle a little at the outpouring of grief and the eulogies of a "life cut short cruelly". When Downey Jr was arrested (was he also jailed? cannot recall) for his drug use, he lost his much critically appreciated role in Ally Mcbeal (that a role in that series was critically acclaimed, says much about the actor!!). He was also if I recall, shunned by the film fraternity.
Yet, how was Heath Ledger any different? Maybe he did not have a chequered history with drugs, at least not one that was overtly publicised (post mortem there were revelations of drug use). Maybe playing Joker had splintered something within himself - and resulted in pushing the limits. Whatever. But fact of the matter is that he died of a drug overdose. Hundreds, if not thousands suffer the same fate around the world - nursing, also as each one would claim, some real or imaginary wounds to their soul. Heath Ledger is just one of these numbers, who died of the inability to control himself. While I sympathise with the family for the loss - it is no greater than the loss suffered by the thousands who lose their battle with drugs. There is no reason to glorify his death.
I applauded his performance as Joker. It was magnificent and disturbing. But, I was not one of the standing ovation his award received. I will reserve that for Robert Downey Jr - who has struggled with drug use, sought repeatedly to overcome it, seems to have returned from a career death to essay more enigmatic roles. Who will, I hope, give strength to the many to attempt to return from the edge; not to fall over the edge. Yes those chocolate brown eyes may have something to do with this bias. But I feel sometimes we tend to ignore the mundane, the gritty and patently un-sexy reality.
Earlier this year, when the Oscars and the Globes and the SAGs waxed eloquent in their tributes to Heath Ledger - I could not help bristle a little at the outpouring of grief and the eulogies of a "life cut short cruelly". When Downey Jr was arrested (was he also jailed? cannot recall) for his drug use, he lost his much critically appreciated role in Ally Mcbeal (that a role in that series was critically acclaimed, says much about the actor!!). He was also if I recall, shunned by the film fraternity.
Yet, how was Heath Ledger any different? Maybe he did not have a chequered history with drugs, at least not one that was overtly publicised (post mortem there were revelations of drug use). Maybe playing Joker had splintered something within himself - and resulted in pushing the limits. Whatever. But fact of the matter is that he died of a drug overdose. Hundreds, if not thousands suffer the same fate around the world - nursing, also as each one would claim, some real or imaginary wounds to their soul. Heath Ledger is just one of these numbers, who died of the inability to control himself. While I sympathise with the family for the loss - it is no greater than the loss suffered by the thousands who lose their battle with drugs. There is no reason to glorify his death.
I applauded his performance as Joker. It was magnificent and disturbing. But, I was not one of the standing ovation his award received. I will reserve that for Robert Downey Jr - who has struggled with drug use, sought repeatedly to overcome it, seems to have returned from a career death to essay more enigmatic roles. Who will, I hope, give strength to the many to attempt to return from the edge; not to fall over the edge. Yes those chocolate brown eyes may have something to do with this bias. But I feel sometimes we tend to ignore the mundane, the gritty and patently un-sexy reality.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Of Buttons and Dogs
There was a time that we would make it a point to catch all the Oscar nominated movies and then deliver our verdict on which ones were Oscar-worthy. These days it has been tough even keeping track of which movies have been nominated for the Oscars. Nevertheless, we caught Benjamin Button last week. I must say I was a little disappointed - this movie actually made Forrest Gump seem like a classic movie. I liked the premise of the movie, however, I found Brad Pitt's performance monotonous. Some have described it as being nuanced - personally I preferred the nuanced performance of his ass in Troy.
But back to the premise - in today's world obssessed with looks, we bemoan the appearance of laugh lines and wrinkles- there is a false pursuit of eternal youthfulness. We sometimes wish we had the wisdom in youth to make certain decisions, or the youth to give shape and form to the epiphanies that age provides us. But what this story tells us that no matter where the beginning is at age 70 or age 0, life exorably moves towards the grave and what is vital is that we make the most of our time - as it is given to us. There was one part where the eponymous Button exhorts his daugther to have the courage to try to make something of her life if she had let it slip by her upto that point. For me that was the only point that had any meaning. Otherwise, the movie did very little for me.
I am looking forward to watching Slumdog Millionaire, will try and catch it next weekend when L is back. I am however intrigued by the rather contradictory reactions emanating from India - on the one hand embracing it and revelling in the awards it has received as if a film about India somehow automatically becomes Indian (yes the actors were Indian, but the film was conceptualised, produced and directed by Brits, so its a British film about India) and on the other hand criticising it for portraying India in a negative light. On the latter I have to reserve my comments as I have not watched the movie yet - except to say that I wonder if the people who are upset by this portrayal are the very people who lap up the Aditya Chopras and the Karan Johars portraying NRIs and goras as people devoid of values, uncouth, shamelessly pursuing money, unfilial etc - because really that would be a very accurate portrayal of such un-Indian people and they would really deserve it, no?!!! Well more on it when I have watched the film. But I caught the soundtrack - and the music is rivetting. I found the collaboration with MIA very interesting.
But back to the premise - in today's world obssessed with looks, we bemoan the appearance of laugh lines and wrinkles- there is a false pursuit of eternal youthfulness. We sometimes wish we had the wisdom in youth to make certain decisions, or the youth to give shape and form to the epiphanies that age provides us. But what this story tells us that no matter where the beginning is at age 70 or age 0, life exorably moves towards the grave and what is vital is that we make the most of our time - as it is given to us. There was one part where the eponymous Button exhorts his daugther to have the courage to try to make something of her life if she had let it slip by her upto that point. For me that was the only point that had any meaning. Otherwise, the movie did very little for me.
I am looking forward to watching Slumdog Millionaire, will try and catch it next weekend when L is back. I am however intrigued by the rather contradictory reactions emanating from India - on the one hand embracing it and revelling in the awards it has received as if a film about India somehow automatically becomes Indian (yes the actors were Indian, but the film was conceptualised, produced and directed by Brits, so its a British film about India) and on the other hand criticising it for portraying India in a negative light. On the latter I have to reserve my comments as I have not watched the movie yet - except to say that I wonder if the people who are upset by this portrayal are the very people who lap up the Aditya Chopras and the Karan Johars portraying NRIs and goras as people devoid of values, uncouth, shamelessly pursuing money, unfilial etc - because really that would be a very accurate portrayal of such un-Indian people and they would really deserve it, no?!!! Well more on it when I have watched the film. But I caught the soundtrack - and the music is rivetting. I found the collaboration with MIA very interesting.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
On Valentine's Day
Never been much of a Valentine's Day fan. I remember a Valentine's Day with L at the NIE canteen opposite our hostel. After the canteen fare, L bought himself a bar of chocolate and went on to polish it off, without even attempting to offer me a piece. Or maybe he did and I declined, I can't quite recall, but there were no chocolates for me that day, that I remember. But we have been married for over 12 years now, where we have shared much more than chocolates. I came across a notebook where, in the early years of our marriage, we had recorded our expenses; L's neat letters slanting forwards contrasted with my big cursive swirls that seemed to want to break out of those pages. There were entries for movies where we had written down the names of the movies we watched, the restaurants we had dinners at; cab fares and clothes bought have been recorded too. Regrettably, we did not write down the names of the wines we imbibed, for there was many an entry for wine.
While harking back to lazier times prior to the arrival of children and accompanying avalanche of responsibilities, it also served as a reminder to early days of marriage - where laying the foundation in terms of our values was crucial. It helped very much that there was convergence in our thinking with regard to money - we both eschewed flashy expenditure, but were happy to spend a little within our means to enjoy life. What that notebook did not record was perhaps the divergence between my raging ambition and L's infuriating sense of contentment. I wanted to study further and would have loved to go abroad to pursue a Master's degree. L would hear nothing about it, it made no sense to him to be married and apart. What is the point of being married then, was his frequent retort. I would see marriage as an intellectual communion as well as physical one, where partners should facilitate each other's growth as individuals - and my growth depended on a Masters degree from somewhere in New York. Hogwash! - was how L, always a practical man, dismissed my 'intellectual' discourses.
Well, fast forward 12 yrs and no I did not go to New York to get that Masters degree. But, over the years there has been a convergence in our values of what we want from our of life as well. I have learnt that living in the present can be calming and nurturing, and ultimately a better platform for one to leap into the future. I have learnt that being with a person who loves you and wants to be "in the same country, same house, same living room as you" (as once L rather plaintively declared as the reason why he married me) - can provide that emotional support to an individual's growth as much as cutting edge intellectual debate can. My life is fuller for this realisation.
Couple of months ago, an excited L called me from KL, where he is now based (ironically away from his family on account of work) to talk about a training session he had just attended. The facilitator had sought to break the self imposed barriers in peoples' minds, that has them falling short of achieving their dreams. L spoke with passion about the activities at that session and concluded that he was charged to achieve something in his life. While the what is still undefined, something has changed in the hitherto laid back personality - who asserts he would have gladly been a chauffeur driving other people's Benzes, had he not been pushed by his parents to get an education. It had ignited a spark within himself to reach beyond the limits of his life. It may be hubris, but perhaps there is something of my desire for achievement in life that has rubbed off on him.
We are poised now at a place where our outlook on what we want out of life seems to be veering towards convergence. Career-wise, I have made a decision, that could theoretically make it possible for us convert that into practicality by building a business together in a 3-5 yr horizon. I pray to God to give us both the strength, patience and perseverance to achieve that. For now, hopefully we can both remember to "Screen the past, Cream the present and Dream the future"
Happy Valentine's Day, L
While harking back to lazier times prior to the arrival of children and accompanying avalanche of responsibilities, it also served as a reminder to early days of marriage - where laying the foundation in terms of our values was crucial. It helped very much that there was convergence in our thinking with regard to money - we both eschewed flashy expenditure, but were happy to spend a little within our means to enjoy life. What that notebook did not record was perhaps the divergence between my raging ambition and L's infuriating sense of contentment. I wanted to study further and would have loved to go abroad to pursue a Master's degree. L would hear nothing about it, it made no sense to him to be married and apart. What is the point of being married then, was his frequent retort. I would see marriage as an intellectual communion as well as physical one, where partners should facilitate each other's growth as individuals - and my growth depended on a Masters degree from somewhere in New York. Hogwash! - was how L, always a practical man, dismissed my 'intellectual' discourses.
Well, fast forward 12 yrs and no I did not go to New York to get that Masters degree. But, over the years there has been a convergence in our values of what we want from our of life as well. I have learnt that living in the present can be calming and nurturing, and ultimately a better platform for one to leap into the future. I have learnt that being with a person who loves you and wants to be "in the same country, same house, same living room as you" (as once L rather plaintively declared as the reason why he married me) - can provide that emotional support to an individual's growth as much as cutting edge intellectual debate can. My life is fuller for this realisation.
Couple of months ago, an excited L called me from KL, where he is now based (ironically away from his family on account of work) to talk about a training session he had just attended. The facilitator had sought to break the self imposed barriers in peoples' minds, that has them falling short of achieving their dreams. L spoke with passion about the activities at that session and concluded that he was charged to achieve something in his life. While the what is still undefined, something has changed in the hitherto laid back personality - who asserts he would have gladly been a chauffeur driving other people's Benzes, had he not been pushed by his parents to get an education. It had ignited a spark within himself to reach beyond the limits of his life. It may be hubris, but perhaps there is something of my desire for achievement in life that has rubbed off on him.
We are poised now at a place where our outlook on what we want out of life seems to be veering towards convergence. Career-wise, I have made a decision, that could theoretically make it possible for us convert that into practicality by building a business together in a 3-5 yr horizon. I pray to God to give us both the strength, patience and perseverance to achieve that. For now, hopefully we can both remember to "Screen the past, Cream the present and Dream the future"
Happy Valentine's Day, L
And the debate continues
As a working mother of a 9 year old and a 5 year old, one would have imagined that I would have laid ghost of the 'working mother' vs 'stay at home mother' debate resolutely to rest. Well, actually, no, it still plagues conversations I have.
Here's summary of recent conversation at a birthday party.
Many of the conversations I had yesterday revolved round the perennial question women face on what is their place on earth. We recognise that family is of primary importance, yet it sometimes leaves us feeling that we then do not have any identity of our own. So we go through this futile exercise of going to work, finding no meaning there, staying at home, feeling uncertain about our identity - and overall frustrated. At the end of the continuum are the lucky women who are very sure of what they want to do - some are absolutely certain they want to work as that is the only qualification they will be satisfied with and there are the others who are very clear that home is where their calling is and nothing else will satisfy them. Most of us unfortunately fall in the middle and somehow feel trapped.
Yet, if you think about it - our generation is incredibly blessed. We had access to education. Our mothers in some instances and grandmothers certainly did not have that luxury. We are treated as equals in our marriages (well almost, I guess) - we do not face abusive relationships, we cannot even imagine how it would feel to be considered inferior and have our rights trampled upon as surely many women over the world do even today. Our children are healthy - our concerns are about the difference between band 1 and band 2 - not about finding food, medical aid or other amenities for our children. It is ironic that because we are so incredibly blessed we feel trapped by the options it offers us.
I think our cohort of women (ie educated, reasonably well off etc) should make it a mantra to tell ourselves that our life is about unending possibilities. The only limitations we place on ourselves emanate from our mind. We should ask ourselves searching questions on what would make us happy. We should help our friends to ask themselves these questions. The answers should not be coloured by any perceptions of society. We should not let our views on the matter colour our friends answers. Working women should not seek to justify their decision by commenting that women who choose to stay at home are wasting their education. Women who stay at home should not paint a working woman's life as money-chasing at the cost of family. Would it be that difficult to support a decision as one individual's decision?
We must recognise that trade offs will have to be made when we make our decisions one way or the other. We should then write down our decisions on a piece of paper - with the reasons why we believe we want to do it. And also what commitments we undertake to keep our balance - if your choice is to work, what is your commitment to your family. If your choice is to stay at home, what is your commitment to yourself. And give a copy to a good friend who understands you. And everytime we waver or feel trapped again, we should get this piece of paper out and tell ourselves this is why we did what we did. Periodically we should read this to say have we delivered on our commitment (of course if circumstances in life change and you are required to take a different decision, that would be different. So we must also have the maturity to be flexible). It should not matter whether there is a right thing to do - we should do what we feel is the right thing - without our decision of course causing harm to ourselves or our families.
I must suck the fun out of birthday parties. Next time I will only talk about SRK's dimples.
Here's summary of recent conversation at a birthday party.
Many of the conversations I had yesterday revolved round the perennial question women face on what is their place on earth. We recognise that family is of primary importance, yet it sometimes leaves us feeling that we then do not have any identity of our own. So we go through this futile exercise of going to work, finding no meaning there, staying at home, feeling uncertain about our identity - and overall frustrated. At the end of the continuum are the lucky women who are very sure of what they want to do - some are absolutely certain they want to work as that is the only qualification they will be satisfied with and there are the others who are very clear that home is where their calling is and nothing else will satisfy them. Most of us unfortunately fall in the middle and somehow feel trapped.
Yet, if you think about it - our generation is incredibly blessed. We had access to education. Our mothers in some instances and grandmothers certainly did not have that luxury. We are treated as equals in our marriages (well almost, I guess) - we do not face abusive relationships, we cannot even imagine how it would feel to be considered inferior and have our rights trampled upon as surely many women over the world do even today. Our children are healthy - our concerns are about the difference between band 1 and band 2 - not about finding food, medical aid or other amenities for our children. It is ironic that because we are so incredibly blessed we feel trapped by the options it offers us.
I think our cohort of women (ie educated, reasonably well off etc) should make it a mantra to tell ourselves that our life is about unending possibilities. The only limitations we place on ourselves emanate from our mind. We should ask ourselves searching questions on what would make us happy. We should help our friends to ask themselves these questions. The answers should not be coloured by any perceptions of society. We should not let our views on the matter colour our friends answers. Working women should not seek to justify their decision by commenting that women who choose to stay at home are wasting their education. Women who stay at home should not paint a working woman's life as money-chasing at the cost of family. Would it be that difficult to support a decision as one individual's decision?
We must recognise that trade offs will have to be made when we make our decisions one way or the other. We should then write down our decisions on a piece of paper - with the reasons why we believe we want to do it. And also what commitments we undertake to keep our balance - if your choice is to work, what is your commitment to your family. If your choice is to stay at home, what is your commitment to yourself. And give a copy to a good friend who understands you. And everytime we waver or feel trapped again, we should get this piece of paper out and tell ourselves this is why we did what we did. Periodically we should read this to say have we delivered on our commitment (of course if circumstances in life change and you are required to take a different decision, that would be different. So we must also have the maturity to be flexible). It should not matter whether there is a right thing to do - we should do what we feel is the right thing - without our decision of course causing harm to ourselves or our families.
I must suck the fun out of birthday parties. Next time I will only talk about SRK's dimples.
Hark to the past
This is my second attempt at blogging; my first attempt itself being a 152nd attempt at keeping a diary. Well, this is just what was noteworthy from the 3 posts of 2005.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Random Thoughts on Friday the 13th
Today's newspaper carried an article on the film Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (DDLJ) running 500 days, beating Sholay's record. It described how this 32 yr old Catholic girl had been inspired by the movie to elope and marry her Hindu boyfriend the day after watching the movie. The premise of the movie is typical- boy-meets-girl; after initial dislike they fall in love, parental opposition (on the girls side), girl getting engaged to someone else - run of the mill Bollywood. However - unlike in previous love-stories (QSQT) the hero refuses to elope when exhorted by the heroine's mother to do so. In typical filmi fashion - he claims he would win her father's approval and marry her with his blessings. This was also against the backdrop of the protagonists being NRIs - born and bred in UK. So the tale was about the resilience of "Indian" values, even against the lure of "western" ideas and upbringing. It is ironic then that this movie was identified as the inspiration for the elopement of the Catholic girl. Stoutly disproves my mother's theory of a direct corelation between Hindi cinema and the behaviour of youngsters - particularly in matters of the heart.
On Wednesday - I attended a lunch where the Pakistani PM, Shaukat Aziz spoke briefly on the changing face of Pakistan. First of all Shaukat Aziz was an impressive personality - tall, statuesque, he was an accomplished speaker. It was also amazing how he had transitioned from being a corporate leader to quite a political leader and a statesman. He had a good grasp of the the 'financials' of Pakistan and like any good Citibanker he reeled off the numbers - increase in number of mobile phone users, tonnage of wheat , number of automobiles. He conveyed some astute political messages too - when describing relations with neighbours he started from the West - Iran and Afghanistan were mentioned before India and then finally China. Plenty can be read into this : an association with Islamic neighbours where Pakistan could have a stronger position - vis-a-vis giants India and China on the east? You got the sense that he was painting the picture of a resurgent Pakistan that wanted to shed its past associations and looked to the wider world for partnership. This he reiterated when queried about promoting trade with India, when with a dismissive flick of his hand he said "As far as doing trade is concerned, the whole world is out there. Apart from the geographical consideration of reaching from point A to point B quicker, trade with India had no particular advantages for Pakistan."
Of course - it was a little disappointing that he reiterated the position that trade or economic co-operation would not take precedence over the political question of Kashmir.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Random Thoughts on Friday the 13th
Today's newspaper carried an article on the film Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (DDLJ) running 500 days, beating Sholay's record. It described how this 32 yr old Catholic girl had been inspired by the movie to elope and marry her Hindu boyfriend the day after watching the movie. The premise of the movie is typical- boy-meets-girl; after initial dislike they fall in love, parental opposition (on the girls side), girl getting engaged to someone else - run of the mill Bollywood. However - unlike in previous love-stories (QSQT) the hero refuses to elope when exhorted by the heroine's mother to do so. In typical filmi fashion - he claims he would win her father's approval and marry her with his blessings. This was also against the backdrop of the protagonists being NRIs - born and bred in UK. So the tale was about the resilience of "Indian" values, even against the lure of "western" ideas and upbringing. It is ironic then that this movie was identified as the inspiration for the elopement of the Catholic girl. Stoutly disproves my mother's theory of a direct corelation between Hindi cinema and the behaviour of youngsters - particularly in matters of the heart.
On Wednesday - I attended a lunch where the Pakistani PM, Shaukat Aziz spoke briefly on the changing face of Pakistan. First of all Shaukat Aziz was an impressive personality - tall, statuesque, he was an accomplished speaker. It was also amazing how he had transitioned from being a corporate leader to quite a political leader and a statesman. He had a good grasp of the the 'financials' of Pakistan and like any good Citibanker he reeled off the numbers - increase in number of mobile phone users, tonnage of wheat , number of automobiles. He conveyed some astute political messages too - when describing relations with neighbours he started from the West - Iran and Afghanistan were mentioned before India and then finally China. Plenty can be read into this : an association with Islamic neighbours where Pakistan could have a stronger position - vis-a-vis giants India and China on the east? You got the sense that he was painting the picture of a resurgent Pakistan that wanted to shed its past associations and looked to the wider world for partnership. This he reiterated when queried about promoting trade with India, when with a dismissive flick of his hand he said "As far as doing trade is concerned, the whole world is out there. Apart from the geographical consideration of reaching from point A to point B quicker, trade with India had no particular advantages for Pakistan."
Of course - it was a little disappointing that he reiterated the position that trade or economic co-operation would not take precedence over the political question of Kashmir.
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